Willing Hearted Work Days at Emandal Farm ~ March 27-29, 2015

Since 2011 we've been attending "Not Just Cowboy Poetry" at Emandal Farm, about 17 miles east of Willits, a fundraiser for the Willits Public Library and Willits Daily Bread. This year's event, September 26th, will feature Dave Stamey, one of our favorite singer/songwriters and Western Entertainer of the Year. Experience great food, live music and the infamous Apple Pie Throw Down. To find out more about Dave go to his website at http://www.davestamey.com/. 

Emandal Farm has something for everyone: family camps, art weekends, Not Just Cowboy Poetry, workshops, and more. You should check out their website and http://emandal.com/ and take a look for yourself. A family camp weekend, a class or a concert may be in your future. 

Fall is beautiful, but Spring we discovered, has magic of it's own. We went up to Emandal for a weekend to volunteer and help Tam ready the farm for visitors: cutting new trails, building stairs, helping with the garden chores, planting, burning slash from the winter storms and editing her new cookbook. 

We arrived late Friday afternoon and got settled in. Next stop was Tam's country kitchen to await other guests and watch the magic happen. Meals are served buffet style on the wrap around counter. There are two large tables in the great room to sit down, share meals and get to know the other volunteers. 

Dinner prep with Tam. 

All food and stock are grown on the farm.  

After a hearty breakfast we scatter with our work crews. I joined up with dirt patrol to help Malanyon move a large amount of compost into various sized containers, transplant seedlings and get them set up in the large greenhouse.

Rod was assigned to help build the Stairway to Heaven (working title) up to one of the cabins. The project was started Saturday and finished Sunday. A couple of days of digging, leveling, pounding pipes and setting boards for 44 steps made for some exhausted, proud and happy campers.

Awaiting the dinner bell

After dinner a walk on the Eel River 

Part of Sunday's Breakfast

Rod fixed pancakes for Lyndon and the rest of the crew

Sunday morning we took on collecting and burning the remaining brush that came down in a winter storm. There was a double Hummer size pile when we started and it was down to a few small piles by the time we finished. Buffalo chainsawed all firewood size branches into logs and this bodacious trio stacked all the fire wood.

Sharon, Margaret and Me

White Lilac

When worked stopped about 1 pm Sunday, we cleaned up and then enjoyed a hearty brunch of left overs out under the apple tree with the crew. We made new friends and experienced a different side of Emandal. It was hard to leave, but we said our goodbyes and left for home about 3 pm. The weather was sunny and warm, night skies brilliant away from civilization. 

Thoughts on Turning Seventy ~ March 17, 2015

As we start crossing thresholds like 30, parents seem to morph into "senior citizens" from our point of view. Wrong assumption! Little do we know about aging and such things until we get here. Mom and Dad retired at 52 and 61 in 1971. They sold the family compound and hit the road for a decade to explore the US and Canada before settling in Arizona. They reinvented themselves, followed their artistic muses, fished, rode trains and made friends around the country. 

As Mark Twain said "Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don't mind it doesn't matter." Hell, at 70 I've reached wise woman status and consider myself a true broad, following in the footsteps of the irreverent and forward thinking women of my family.

To celebrate this milestone of a birthday we gathered friends and neighbors for a day filled with great food, stories, laughter and decadent desserts. A BBQ in March you ask? Yup, perfect winter weather, California style. 

Birthday Girl

Special request
Lemon cake with dark chocolate frosting
from neighbor Carol

Green Goddess Lilies from Susi's garden

Before guests arrive

The afternoon: relax, chat and eat dessert

Secret to success in life and aging

Enjoy life, take care of yourself and follow your dreams.  
Question authority, be your own advocate and never stop learning. 
Always trust your gut and keep negative people out of your life.
Give back, pay it forward and take care of your own little corner of the world.
Never take anything for granted and find the humor in all situations. 
Most important is to be who you are and not give a rat's ass about what other people think.  

Some words from a few well known elders:

George Will

After 70: One has the pleasure of playing, as it were, with house money and to have escaped the disagreeable fate of dying young.

Oliver Wendell Holmes, Sr.
To be seventy years young is sometimes far more cheerful and hopeful than to be forty years old.

Helen Hayes
The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.

Maurice Chevalier
The French are true romantics. They feel the only difference between a man of forty and one of seventy is thirty years of experience.

Mark Twain's Recipe for Long Life. 
The New York Times, December 6, 1905

I have achieved my seventy years in the usual way: by sticking strictly to a scheme of life which would kill anybody else. It sounds like an exaggeration, but that is really the common rule for attaining old age. When we examine the programme of any of these garrulous old people we always find that the habits which have preserved them would have decayed us. I will offer here, as a sound maxim this: that we can't reach old age by another man's road.

Fabulous Friday Find ~ Must Dance into Spring ~ March 20, 2015

Cool Kitty

With the future so bright 

We all need cool sunglasses

Whether out for a walk

Calling in vague or cutting classes

Life is too short to be good all the time

Take a time out and experience "sublime"

Riots of spring flowers and songbirds at dawn

It's time to go play, so color me gone

Just Be

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Tombstone Series ~ Those Big Business Sons of Bitches ~ Part I

The monograph, quoted below, was written by my grandfather John Sherman Bagg. It is undated, but probably from the 1950's. It's a wee bit of his family history ala the Reduced Shakespeare Company's take on Shakespeare's plays "Brevity is the Soul of Wit". The corrections and additions, in parentheses, are attributed to some of my research and that of his sister Katherine Bagg Hastings. I wish I'd had the chance to meet him. 

"This then is the story of a lifetime on contacts with these so-called big businesses. It is a personal and first hand story, and involves the thefting, mooching and framing of the American Public out of Billions of dollars, and involves Kennecott Copper Co, The Standard Oil Co and Koppers, the Interior Department, Bureau of Mines and Land Management, the American Crayon Company, the Land Grant Railroads and others. 

I'm paying an ancestral debt by these exposures. An obligation to those who have fought and battled to build and preserve this union against these Sons of Bitches of Big Business. The fight with the greedy amoral bunch of necrophagen still goes on and only those who are born into the purple of dedicated Americanism are able to see and feel and smell it and to those we bow, and with these we join hands and carry on. My right to stand against these sons of bitches who are gnawing at the vitals of our country, stems from the Mayflower. 

I, John Sherman Bagg, am registered in the Studbook of the Mayflower as ninth descendant from John Tilley and his wife Bridget (actually his wife Joan according to William Bradford's Of Plymouth Plantation). Their daughter Elizabeth married John Howland of the Howland House in Plymouth, whose daughter (Hope Howland) married John Chipman, whose daughter (Sinai Fitch Chipman) married a Welles (D. Cyrus Wells), whose daughter, (Frances Wells) married my grandfather John Sherman Bagg. He was a law partner of John Lansing, father of Robert Lansing of Woodrow Wilson's cabinet with offices in Landsborough, Massachusetts.

Grandfather left that partnership and took over the Watertown New York Freeman, because he wanted to fight the Big Business Sons of Bitches. He was a close friend of President Polk, and at his request "went West" to Detroit where he was postmaster and U.S. Marshall, and finally, at Polk's request he founded the Democratic Free Press to fight slavery. He later changed this to the Detroit Free Press which it is today. 

His son, Stanley Chipman Bagg, moved from Ann Arbor College to Santa Barbara, CA where he was introduced to Colonel (William Welles) Hollister, a friend of my Grandfather. Colonel Hollister sent him onto the Las Armitas Rancho in the foothills of Goleta, where we leave him for the moment." 

Stanley Chipman Bagg

undated Photo

What Grandfather doesn't mention is that Sinai Fitch Chipman's roots trace back to William Bradford, governor of Plymouth Colony, and his wife Alice Carpenter Bradford, a fact chronicled in his sister Katherine's genealogy, researched and written in 1929, tracing the family lineage back to the Mayflower. 

Barbara and Elizabeth are my mother and aunt and his daughters

Part II of the story will take up the Winchester side of the family. Researching family history is an adventure in perseverance and full of surprises. It is amazing how much you can find on line: from the freshman class of 1873 at Ann Arbor College to an ancestor already cited in another's family tree. If you find a closed door, you'll probably discover an open window or a quiet path to another key in the puzzle. Trace your roots, create a legacy for generations to come. I have no children, but there are generations of other families who share common roots with me. 

Just a Thought Series ~ Time on my Mountain ~ December 10, 1970

Thinking of a sunshine day

On the dark lime velvet 

Of Tamalpa's robes

Sentries oak and noble redwood

Watching for the spirit wind

Mt. Tamalpais Glow
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Far below

The ocean's cycle

In lake like calms

Toy boats rock in the crispness

Of a December morn

Looking down from Mt. Tam to Stinson Beach

The clarity of winter

So defines itself

In the timelessness of the day

The innocence of truth's heartchild

Holds me in the peaceful void

Of non-seeking

Time
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Transcending the duality of

Observer and observed

I rest quietly in oneness

With the moment between

All time and no time

19 Ought 70 was a year of transition for me. I moved back to Marin County after six years away at college and spent part of the summer exploring British Columbia and Alberta with my dog and two friends I met along the way. Home in the fall to start the next chapter of my life. Growing up on Mt. Tamalpais is a gift that continues to shape my world. It's always a calming and magical place to spend time. 

The Perfect Winter Day ~ California Style ~ March 4, 2015

Time to clean house this morning, top to bottom. It took us a few hours, but well worth the effort. What to do with the rest of the day? In the interest of keeping the house clean for as long as possible we ran away from home. First stop was a well earned lunch at the Hole in the Wall in Sebastopol. If you live locally you need to try it. 

It's time to check out the new North Sonoma Mountain Regional Park and Open Space Preserve. We were looking for challenge and were not disappointed. The Lookout Trail climbs 800 feet in elevation from the parking lot. It is a 4.2 mile round trip of rambling trail and switchbacks winding through meadows, woods and open space. The view is nothing short of astounding.

The wildflowers are starting to show themselves, but are probably a couple of weeks from "full tilt boogie" color. It is early March after all! The cool winter weather was perfect for the hike. Don't know that I'd want to try it in the heat of summer.

Due to it being mid-week the park was uncrowded. About 90% of the folks we met on the trail were senior citizens like ourselves, further proof that age is only a number, and youth a state of mind. Rod did a short video from the lookout with his iPhone. The youtube link is http://youtu.be/a1VqpWi-nk4

Return trip ~ all down hill

Wherever we hike we are always on the lookout for hearts and have never been disappointed. Found these on the trail. We got back down to the parking lot about 4 pm. Rather than head home and mess up the kitchen we stopped at Fandee's, another of our go to places in Sebastopol, for soup and salad.

It was a day well spent, a treasure for us both. We did 4.2 miles of four wheel drive hiking and were no worse for wear. Where to for the next hike? Well we have a Sonoma County Park pass, so must be time to do some exploring in our own backyard. Welcome to the Use It or Lose Tour. Now go play outside. 

Just a Thought Series ~ Another Aha Moment ~ August 17, 1978

Ever the child I continue to learn

Though at times 
It's at my own expense

There's an eerie light to the east
A wildfire's child

The air becomes a gossamer shroud

For the dreams of some
New beginnings for others

Though I've seen no flames
It's presence is felt

I am strongly intrigued
By the possibilities of chance

Your words awaken me 
From a jello minded lull

Of the sometimes 
All to consistent coastal fog

Words on timely wings

Thank you for the thoughts

I've been resting, resisting, too long

In a relationship of less than real

How could I have misplaced 
The value of passion

The key to alive

Cutting loose is difficult

But I know my happiness and creativity

Depend on what I do for my self

I was living in Jenner at the time, high up on a hill that overlooked the mouth of the Russian River. The wildfire was the Creighton Ridge fire in Cazadero. There was concern it might crest the ridge, but little chance it would reach Jenner. I do, however, remember laying in bed one night thinking about what I'd grab on short notice.

Who provided the "words on timely wings" that shook me back into renewed consciousness? Momentarily stumped, I went a few pages back in my journal to see if I could find something. The entry for August 15, 1978 had three lines, no doubt excerpted from a book and not my original journals. The initials "TG" at the bottom of the page cleared it all up. Tom is a long time friend who I've know since 1973. He was in the Coast Guard stationed in Maine at the time and we must have been corresponding about what was going on in our lives. The full text is:

"For our one chance lies in expanding that interval, in getting as many pulsations as possible into the given time. Great passions may give us this quickened sense of life, ecstasy and sorrow of love, the various forms of enthusiastic activity, disinterested or otherwise, which come naturally to many of us. Only be sure it is passion — that it does yield you this fruit of a quickened, multiplied consciousness. Of such wisdom, the poetic passion, the desire of beauty, the love of art for its own sake, has most. For art comes to you proposing frankly to give nothing but the highest quality to your moments as they pass, and simply for those moments' sake". 

The words are from Walter Pater (1839-1894), taken from his Conclusions in "The Renaissance." He was an English essayist, writer of fiction, and literary and art critic. He was educated at The Queens College and Oxford. He argues that the most profound and passionate occasions in life, are the instances when, like viewing artwork, we are bombarded with emotion and sensory overload in a mere moment.

Just a Thought Series ~ for Rod on Valentine's Day 2015

This was written not long after I met the love of my life at the Fort Ross Volunteer Fire Department Picnic in Cazadero on May 23, 1981. Rod lived up on the Navarro Ranch the first year we were together so we'd only cross paths on weekends. 

His pup Hazel would jump up into the crate on the back of his Honda 90 and they'd motor a few miles down the hill to the Blue Heron Restaurant in Duncans Mills. Once the bike was locked up under the deck, he and Hazel would come stay with Jessie and me in Sebastopol. He was a best kept secret for months and it drove my girlfriends crazy. 

At work, though hardly working

Some late afternoon daydreams

Toying with my senses and concentration

Sipping spring water 
And kisses from your well

Fingerprints in places rarely touched

There is nothing so amusingly precise
As keeping the Who, What, Where and When 

Ladies at bay

You are a mystery man

Only the sweet Buddha 

Knows my secret

For my smile and my eyes

Speak only and without words

I've changed my plans

For the weekend

May we come play in your meadow

And sleep beneath your stars?

De-Liver Me Tour ~ Game Changer ~ February 5, 2015

A "Game Changer" is a newly introduced element or factor that changes an existing situation or activity in a significant way. The adenocarcinoma on my pancreas is a different cancer than Audrey and Carmine, the hepatocellular carcinomas on my liver. What this translates to is that I am off the liver transplant list for now. I will have to remain clear of pancreatic cancer for 3-5 years before I can be reconsidered. I totally understand logic, especially with so few livers to go around. Truth be told I am actually a bit relieved. The prospect of major transplant surgery, being out of sorts for several months and on steroids and immunosuppressents is a little hard to fathom right now.

Storm Clouds and Sunbeams

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Small blessings ~ Sometimes the least expected is a blessing in disguise. I was close to the top of the transplant list when the pancreatic tumor was discovered with a CT scan and biopsy late last Fall. Had it not been discovered early, and before the liver transplant, the immunosuppressents and steroids dictated by a transplant would have prompted the pancreatic cancer to run wild. 

We met with my oncologist today and as he walked in the door he smiled at me and said "Survived another one, eh?" Here is what we learned. 

Staging ~ The staging of cancers is a complicated process, but here is the country girl's guide to short and simple. 

1 ~ tumor is 2 mm or smaller and hasn't spread to lymph nodes
2 ~ tumor is over 2 mm and hasn't spread to lymph nodes or body
3 ~ tumor has involved lymph nodes but hasn't spread to other parts of body
4 ~ tumor has spread to other parts of the body

I rank as a Stage 3: My surgeon removed six lymph nodes, though only one of the six was was involved. A generalized rule is that patients at Stage 3 have a 60% risk of recurrence of cancer returning or showing up someplace else. 

Normally, in this scenario, chemo would be offered as a preventative measure to keep cancer from returning to my pancreas. However, at this point the cancer is gone and chemo could facilitate the growth of the liver cancer because of compromised immune system from removal of my spleen. It might also cause a flareup of the Hep C which has almost reached "cured" status. Can you spell NO THANK YOU? I swore years ago that I would not do systemic chemotherapy. I've watched too many friends endure hell for no apparent benefit. It's all about the quality not the quantity. 

Under the microscope - Starting today I'll be doing a quarterly blood test called CA19-9 which helps detect early recurrence of cancer. At surgery the marker registered 294. Today's blood test will establish a new baseline, hopefully with a much lower one. I will touch bases with my oncologist again in May. Also, the letter from Kaiser that approves an additional year of medical care from the Liver Transplant Unit at UCSF just arrived in the mail. This is all good news. My orders are to continue to take care of myself: exercise, eat healthy and travel at will. We can do that!

Life Expectancy ~ I had to ask the question ~ There is no one answer, only averages from large trials and large patient data bases and it is only a rough guideline. In a worse case scenario, if the cancer comes back or spreads and cannot be removed surgically, life expectancy is about two years. We are all different though so you cannot read much into that. Considering the odds and bullets I've dodged so far, things are looking brighter than expected. I may indeed outlive the October 2017 expiration date on my American Express Card and see my mid seventies. 

On the Horizon ~ Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead! We have friends to visit, seasons to experience, and blue highways to explore. Alberta is calling, we've never seen the east coast in the fall, the aurora borealis, or the poppies in Antelope Valley. The possibilities are endless. 

Alberta 1997

Northern Lights

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Horse Bridge Pawtuckaway State Park

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De-Liver Me Tour ~ Sisterhood of Traveling Body Parts

January 7th: Oh boy surgery day. The game plan was to remove the tail of my pancreas (home of said adenocarcinoma) and my spleen with a combination of a laparoscope, robotics and the capable hands of my doctor. The surgery took about 6 hours. I was, of course, on another planet and haven't a clue as to what was going on. Since the doc was in the neighborhood she also checked on my liver and found a small hepatocellular tumor and with Rod's permission removed it. 

January 8th - 9th: Me and Mr. Wheels my best buddy and travelling companion for 3 days. Patients are encouraged to get up and walk as soon as possible, as it helps get your digestion system moving again. You are also encouraged to make good use of the patient regulated pain medication day and night. It's easier for your body to heal if you're not dealing with pain. Sounded reasonable to me. And who knew a catheter could be such an asset when the simple act of getting out of bed was to much to contemplate. 

Day 2

Clear liquid and liquid diets suck big time. I realize it's necessary, but where's the nutrition? They kept trying to push soy milk, fruit juices, vanilla pudding and bouillon, holy blood sugar Bat Girl. The one positive note is that I developed a new fondness for Cream of Wheat. Once I graduated to real food on Day 4 the menu was a lot better. 

I can't say enough about the doctors, nurses and staff at Kaiser SF. Some of them were working long shifts, but always made sure their patients were their first priority. They were professional, caring, supportive, and full of fun. Laughter is, after all, the best medicine.

Got unplugged day 4 and graduated to a walker and free range of the corridors. Also got to take a shower. I had a little private bathroom with a hand held shower head. The stuff they gave me for shampoo (I use the term loosely) was the consistency of snot and didn't soap up. It made my hands slick and it was hard to control hand held. I ended up spraying down my nurse, the towels and my gown. We both about collapsed in a fit of laughter. 

You know those little things in life you often take for granted? Well surgery brought the concept to a whole new level. Farting, pooping and walking were manna from heaven in my book. Whining, being cranky and cursing like a sailor are part of the healing process, so attitude is encouraged. 

Rod busted me out of the hospital on the afternoon of the 12th. Evidently one of the side effects of surgery and being on your back for 5 days is inflamed joints. I walked out of the hospital unassisted but Holy Knees Louise I could hardly walk the next day. I went to see my primary doc at Kaiser SR and had to have a wheel chair. She came in, gave me a smile and said "You are human, this is the first time I've seen you even look slightly tired during this entire journey. You must be related to the Energizer Bunny." 

Show me the exit

Things are pretty much back to normal and then some. We're back to walking 1.5 to 2.5 miles a day. My belly still looks like I walked into a load of buckshot: four holes for the laparoscope and drains and one incision with five or six stitches. All were closed with Steri-Strips that were supposed to fall off in two weeks. Mine seem to be related to NASCAR 200 mph duct tape, 19 days and they were still holding fast. Got permission to gently pull them off. Oh Yeah!

WTF moments: Since the surgery my platelet count is adequate for the first time in 2 years and I'm not bruising at my insulin injection sites. The answer is no spleen, platelets can once again roam at will. I'm sleeping better, my acid reflex has abated, the sporadic leg cramps have ceased and my alligator skin has improved. You just never know.

De-Liver Me Tour Segue ~ The Visitor ~ January 6, 2015

The results of the endoscopic ultrasound on December 16th confirmed that the mass on the tail of my pancreas is indeed an adenocarcinoma. On December 26th I had a PET Scan to see if the tumor was stable or had metastasized. The good news is that there was no evidence of metastatic disease. 

We went to see Dr. Bolinger, my specialist at Kaiser SF yesterday, and unbeknownst to me she had already set up the surgery appointment for Wednesday, the 7th.  Holy Crap: no time to fret, worry, or think about it. So off we go to San Francisco at o'dark thirty. 

She hopes to remove the tail of the pancreas and my spleen with a combination of laparoscope and robotics (brave new world). Best case scenario I'll be there for 3 days. If it turns into regular surgery, worst case scenario is that I'll be there a week. We're focused on the short term incarceration, even if that means we have go over the Bay Bridge  and Richmond San Rafael Bridge to get home. The Golden Gate Bridge will be closed for modifications from midnight Friday to dawn on Monday. 

I have always believed in signs and the power of animals totem. While I was at my volunteer job this morning Rod happened to look out the window and see a Great Blue Heron glide down the driveway and land on our neighbor's play set (lower left corner of photo). We have never seen one up here in the 27 years we've called this place home. Rod came in and decided to do some research. This is the message that Blue Heron brings, from Animals Speak by T.Andrews

"According to North American Native tradition, the Blue Heron brings messages of self-determination and self-reliance. They have the innate wisdom of being able to maneuver through life and co-create their own circumstances. 

Blue Herons reflect a need for those with this totem to follow their own unique wisdom and path of self-determination. These individuals know what is best for themselves and need to follow their hearts rather than the promptings of others. And, when they follow the promptings of the heart, they are one of the most magnificent when they choose to soar." 

Our Great Blue is here for a reason, it's symbolic attributes weave the tale:

Calm, Grace, Patience, Longevity, Versatility, Tranquility, Intelligence, Determination, Independence and Resourcefulness. 

Once home and secure I update you the rest of the story. 

Time Out for Good Behavior ~ December 21-23, 2014

December 21st: Our 28th wedding anniversary starts with a little magic: out to fetch the paper at dawn and I hear a trio of Great Horned Owls swapping riffs in the trees around the house. What a gift to have them back in the hood.

Great Horned Owl

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We're off to Timber Cove Inn for a little getaway.  I'm married to a boy scout so we've never been totally clear on the concept of packing light. We are at all times prepared for anything: mudslide, fallen tree, emergency road service, fancy dinner, walking in the rain or hauling home treasures from some little second hand store we couldn't resist. Left the snow chains and down coats home this time since our accommodations are only 40 miles up the coast. First stop is Cape Fear Cafe in Duncans Mills for an excellent breakfast and an hour or so wandering through the shops. We picked up a few things up for Chef Boy's new kitchen. 

Sonoma County lost activist and environmentalist Bill Kortum this week and we decided a walk along the Kortum Trail near Jenner was in order. Problem was the fog was pea soup (we lost each other at 10 paces) with a side order of stiff winds. We'll try again on the way home.  Once we registered at Timber Cove, Rod headed out to start unloading the rig. He was wearing his new Santa hat and got accosted twice to have his picture taken with a couple of families. Santa rules!

Once settled in we took a late afternoon walk along the bluff trail. Prominent on the skyline is Benny Bufano's 93 foot tall "Peace Obelisk", aka "Madonna of Peace" and "Expanding Universe".

A Little History

Benny Bufano was born in Italy around 1890 and moved with his family to New York City about 1894. He studied at the Art Students League and in 1915 won a nationwide prize for his work. He was anti-war throughout his life and was considered a radical by most Americans of his day. Shortly after the start of WWI Bufano cut off his trigger finger (accidentally the legend says) and mailed it to President Woodrow Wilson to protest the war. He eventually settled in San Francisco and started work on the Obelisk in 1962, a few months before the Cuban Missile Crisis galvanized the world. The reality of the Soviet and American ballistic missiles, poised for global war, influenced this sculpture. His "missile" with the Madonna, Child and welcoming hand is all about peace. It took him seven years to complete. 

Trail of Hearts

Another of the Inn trails is called Cupid's Way. Every inch of the sandstone cliff face is adorned with hearts scratched into the surface. We found one with our initials, how cool is that?

Totally refreshed from the walk we headed back to our room, showered and went downstairs for an early dinner. King's Cribbage in the great room in front of the fire, then an evening of reading, and listening to the ocean. 

December 22nd: After a hearty breakfast we're off to the north for a little exploring. Just as you pull out of the Inn onto Hwy 1 there is a sign that says "Rough Road". Seriously? This is the prettiest, smoothest, freshly paved ribbon of blacktop I've ever seen. You want to talk rough road try the Poor Man's Byways of Sebastopol: patched to cobblestone, tooth chattering perfection and riddled with chuckholes big enough to swallow a mail box.  

Stopped in Gualala for a scone and tea at Trink's. Fog was getting thicker as we headed north so we turned around and headed back to the Inn for an afternoon of reading in front of the fire (oh darn). Evening skies cleared and we did a little star gazing along the north bluff. We see the constellations from our back yard but we were amazed by the Milky Way and the gazillion stars we don't see at home because of the intrusion of civilization. Back in from our walk to read by the fire: no iPhone, no iPad, no reception, no TV, no worries. 

December 23rd: The morning dawned sunny and crisp. After breakfast we packed up and headed south. Very few people out and about so the drive was delightful. Time to try the Kortum trail again. It was perfect: no wind, sunny, and about 65 degrees. A great ending to a little staycation. 

Post Script: The trip wouldn't be complete without a description of our room. It was upstairs with a great view of Timber Cove. There was a little gas fireplace in the middle of the room, the most comfortable king size bed ever and a sliding door out to a small porch overlooking the cove. Great place to sit and read. 

However, this is where the similarity to any other room we've ever stayed in ends. When you walk in the front door the "closet" that holds the toilet is on your immediate left. The window is floor to ceiling frosted glass that faces the deck that joins all the upstairs rooms. 

What really stood out is that the glassed in shower is in the middle of the room. Rod noted one of the fire suppression sprinklers was centered over it.

There is no sound insulation between rooms. If someone is talking next door they might as well have been standing in the room. The flyer that your find on the bed (after you've made reservations and checked in) says "The inn was built over 50 years ago by the famed architect Richard Clements with vintage features that need to be updated. The inn was built as a rustic cottage with no between room noise insulation." Judging from comments of guests and staff it appears the "upgrades" have been in the planning stages for many years. Be that as it may, guests were pretty good about being quiet after 9pm. 

The menu is limited, prices are high and food is good but not great. When we made reservations we signed up for the Taste of Sonoma Special. It was a good call, for an extra $45 per night we got dinner, brunch and wine for two, which saved us about $150. That said, our waitress Daisy was an absolute hoot. We regaled her with the stories of how we met, and our haunting experiences at the Gold Hill Hotel and the Oregon Caves. She introduced us to another couple celebrating their 27th, also married in a snowstorm in Nevada. 

Make a little time for a get away close to home. Time outs are important for your soul, a time to unplug and remember what's important. 

De-Liver Me Tour, Top of the 7th, Rain Delay Part II ~ Dec 15, 2014

Update ~ It was raining cats and dogs on the way to San Francisco. We were expecting the worst, but much to our surprise drivers were being sane, courteous and careful. Decoding the parking map for Kaiser was a bit of a challenge but we prevailed and got a bit of a walk in.

Raining Cats and Dogs
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My doc told me ahead of time that he was going to do a biopsy so we could get a definitive answer as to what we were looking at. Cystic masses are quite common on organs of the body, but this one appeared denser than anticipated which was the cause for concern. We should have the results in 7-10 days. I'll remain on the Liver Transplant "pink list" accruing points, but not eligible for transplant, for the time being. 

All went as planned, and it only took about two hours. The crew was great from admissions, to the procedure room, to the "park her here until she lands back in this world" recovery area. There is something to be said for conscious sedation. I don't remember a thing, even the post procedure conversation with my doctor. Good thing Rod was there. 

Rays of sun peaking through the clouds

Watching the sunset of nature's splendor 

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Just heard from my Team Pharmacist ~ There is no longer any evidence of the Hep C virus detectable in my blood: zip, zero, squat. I'll remain on the Ribivarin and Sofosbuvir drug regimen to keep it so until the transplant. 

Time to Celebrate

 December 21, 1986

Gold Hill Hotel in Gold Hill, NV

But Seriously Folks

with our witnesses Barbara and Steve Novacek

Our 28th wedding anniversary is on Winter Solstice, December 21st. Since I am on medical hold at the moment and off my leash, we've decided a little adventure would be an great way to celebrate. We're going to spend a couple of days at the Timber Cove Inn north of Jenner. Foul weather means fireplace, reading, King's Cribbage and great food. Good weather means exploring the neighborhood, coastal walks and great food. We're talking win win here. 

De-Liver Me Tour ~ Top of the 7th, Rain Delay

Update

I got a phone call from my doc at UCSF, the Tumor Board reviewed my most recent CT scan. Audrey and Carmine are still there of course, but the good news is that there are no new tumors. The Hep C virus is still detectable, but at such low levels the lab can't assess how much, only that it is unquantifiable. We are headed in the right direction.  

Rain Storm
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Rain delay due to elements beyond our control

The CT scan also revealed a small cystic mass on the tail of my pancreas. It is not a typical location for liver cancer to spread, but it does raise concerns. This development puts me back on the pink list for the moment, inactive, but still accruing points. I'm not quite at the top of the list yet, but if I was and a liver became available it would go to the next person waiting. This may seem harsh, but it makes total sense. 

The next step is a trip to Kaiser San Francisco for an endoscopic ultrasound. If a sample of the mass is needed to determine its nature, the doctor will do a fine needle aspiration while I'm there. I will be in the "twilight zone" and feeling no discomfort. The first appointment available was 3:30 pm on December 15th. It is of course Trisha's birthday, so I'm taking that as a good sign. The biggest pain is going to be surviving 15 hours of no solid food other than jello, bouillon or fruit juice before 9 am. I'll be chewing on my arm by the time we get released in the late afternoon.

If is it only a cyst I should be able to return to active status on the Transplant List. If the lesion on my pancreas is cancerous, the next step will no doubt be surgery to remove it, but we'll cross that bridge IF we come to it.

The Warrior Queen

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For now I remain the fearless warrior: we have our sites set on Alberta next summer and perhaps a trip to the Northeast and the Maritime states for autumn color. Taking the year off from our usual craft fair circuit was a good choice. We've been able to relax and work around the Rancho. Rod is Santa this weekend at the Garlock Tree Farm in Sebastopol. He's so totally in his element with the kids. Just call me Mrs. Claus. 

Wednesday Wonder ~ Can't Wait Until Friday ~ December 10, 2014

This amazing creation is simply off the hook ~ check out Terry's shop

Old Salt Shaker Cuff Bracelet ~ Repurposed Vintage Jewelry

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The Little Things in Life ~ December 7, 2014

You can have an impact on a stranger's day or life with a simple act of kindness. Toss a small pebble into a quiet pond and watch it's energy move outward in infinite rings. We all have the power to make a difference.

Pond Ripples

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I was at Kaiser Friday morning for my weekly blood tests. When I came out of the building entrance, I noticed a little lady with a cane standing on the opposite curb across the driveway. Without thinking I walked up and asked it she might like a hand stepping down. She looked up, gave me a big smile and reached for my hand. She asked if any cars were coming and I signaled to a red Jeep starting to pull into the lane. The driver gave a thumbs up that she'd wait. I walked with her across the road to the sidewalk. We said goodbye and she was on her way. 

As I turned back to cross the driveway the Jeep driver pulled up next to me and rolled down her window. She was smiling and had tears running down her face. All she said was "That was the sweetest thing I've ever seen."

I was floored and pretty much spent the rest of the day grinning. No matter what is going on in your life, there is always room to give a little: a smile, some assistance, or maybe just a thank you. Pay it Forward.